we will counsel you on your unspeakable concerns. national... - competition on worries! / - competition on worries! hello counselor is going borderless today. we've compiled foreigners' worries for today's special show. hence, we invited special guests as well. - kangnam! / - nice to meet you, everyone. - cao lu. / - cao lu!
(gem of variety shows, cao lu) robin. (handsome guy from france, robin) please also welcome benji of b.i.g. (benji of b.i.g) do you have any special plans for the holidays? i'll be visiting china for the first time in two years. it's not for work, right? - to see your family? / - yes, i got five days off.
- so it's a vacation. / - five days? - will you be in beijing? / - no, i'm from hunan. - hunan? / - i see, hunan. - gwangju? / - jeolla province? it's not too far from guangzhou. are you from jeolla province? - she'll probably take the train home. / - exactly. (have happy holidays with your family.) i heard that benji prepared
a special performance for us. yes. it's pretty short, though. he majored in violin at the juilliard school of music. - the juilliard school? / - he majored in violin. - that school is known for violin performance. / - yes. (he tosses and catches the bow.) (that was cool!) (i hope you like my performance.) ("zigeunerweisen" by pablo de sarasate)
(the beautiful melody fills the stage.) (he flaunts his impressive skills.) (taegyun looks as if he's playing the violin too.) (benji is so multi talented.) (that was amazing!) before we get started cao lu, do you have any concerns these days? - i do, of course. / - do you? as you know, celebrities don't make stable income.
- right. / - you're done when your luck goes away. you get no jobs. i'm sure all of you can relate to it. (thanks to her forthright way of putting it...) - i can relate to it. / - so... i can certainly relate to it. - so i want to have a side job. / - a side job? - i want to run a dumpling restaurant. / - i see. - why a dumpling restaurant? / - i have a name for it. - what is it? / - cao lu's gratifying dumplings.
- that's pretty good. / - isn't it a good idea? - yes, i like that name. / - will you come visit? (she's already promoting it.) (cao lu is very resourceful.) - gratifying dumplings. / - i haven't saved - enough money yet. / - take out a loan. a loan? it could get me in huge trouble. (don't take out loans thoughtlessly.) i know that some of you have suffered because of it.
let's take a look at today's keywords. please show us. foreigners' competition on worries. "why are you doing this to me?" "no! no! never!" - "my scary wife". / - "my scary wife". this person is from the country of samba and passion, brazil. oh, brazil. nice. this story is called "my scary wife".
hello. i'm from brazil and i've been married for three years. i really love korea. pork barbecue, kimchi stew, soybean paste stew, hangover soup, duck meat and mudfish soup. i love korean food so much. if i list everything, the show will go overtime. what am i worried about? my wife, who's korean, is the source of my worries.
"turn off the tv. can you try to be more productive?" "try to work harder, please." "hurry. hurry up. move faster, will you?" my wife wants me to work harder and keep myself busy but i get upset when she scolds me because i think i already work hard enough. i go to the language school in the morning and clean up after our dog in the afternoon. - i do all the housework. / - he looks after the dog.
my wife and i don't see eye to eye on many things. "seriously. you can't even do this properly?" "gosh, you frustrate me so much." my wife doesn't like how i do things. she wants me to do everything quickly and perfectly. if i can be that kind of person, i'd be happy as well. korean culture is very different from that of brazil. i don't know what to do. everyone at hello counselor, please help me.
(please help me!) i think people in brazil are more easygoing than us. - things are not as hectic. / - they're very relaxed. - koreans are so impatient. / - that's right. i visited france and couldn't understand the culture. people there eat a small bowl of pasta for two hours. yes, they do. - the portions are usually small too. / - exactly. adjusting to that cultural difference was so tough.
i knew i had to eat quickly to fit into the culture, but it was very hard for me to eat fast. - you weren't used to it. / - i couldn't enjoy eating. this worry must stem from such cultural differences. let's meet him now. - please come on out! / - come on out. (who's the man worried about his impatient wife?) (bernardo) - please introduce yourself to us. / - he's nimble.
hello. my name is bernardo and i'm from brazil. - bernardo. / - bernardo. he's from brazil. what's the culture like in brazil? is everyone very relaxed? everyone tends to be relaxed. - things are slower compared to korea. / - are they? most brazilians like samba dancing but i don't like it so much because it's so loud.
- you don't like samba? / - no. isn't half of the year filled with festivals? i just don't think it's for me. - you don't enjoy it? / - when i first came to korea, i saw dongyeop dancing samba with brazilian girls - in a tv commercial. / - oh, right. i thought that was funny. - so you think dongyeop is funny. / - yes. how does your wife want you to change?
i first came to korea in 2014 and lived here for ten months. then i got married here and moved back to brazil. we were in brazil for the last two years and we moved back to korea under four months ago. - this is the 4th month. / - has it only been 4 months? ever since we got married, my wife has been saying that she wants me to do things more quickly. isn't working hard and being efficient a good thing?
it is a good thing but i'm not used to it. koreans grow up hearing it from their moms. korean moms say, "go brush your teeth. hurry up." that kind of culture doesn't exist in brazil. moms don't nag their kids to brush teeth. they teach their kids to be autonomous. yes, they have to be independent. but korean moms always tell kids what to do. "go clean that thing. wash the dishes."
"do this too." you have to do as they say. - he's right. / - in the morning, - i go to the language school. / - language school. in the afternoon, i usually stay at home. hence, i have to do laundry and vacuum our place. my wife always tells me to speed up and be efficient but i can't really do that. even when i wash dishes, i do my best to clean them thoroughly. but my wife goes, "what's taking you so long?"
"just let me do it if you're going to take that long." by any chance, are you here today because you don't want to do housework? well, that's one of the reasons. (that's one of the reasons.) - he's cute. / - is it because you don't want to do it? - i also want our place to be clean / - right. but i don't think people can change that quickly. so it's more about not being able to change quickly.
is she stressing you out by demanding you to change? yes. in brazil, it's common to hire people to clean your house. it's their job. like maid services, you know? - i see. / - people there use housekeeping services. so i never had to do any housework while growing up. i started doing it after i got married. - did you have maids who come to your house? / - yes. i guess many people do that for a living.
- i see. / - yes, it's a common job. - oh, really? / - to tell you the truth, i do want to change - it must be hard. / - but it's a bit hard. - you want her to be more understanding. / - exactly. i'd love her to be more understanding. it must be frustrating for bernardo. the culture is so different. he's used to having maids. it must be stressful. let's meet his wife now.
all right. hello. - hello. / - it sounds like you rush bernardo a lot and get mad at him often. i do admit that i'm quite impatient. have you thought you should try to be more patient and understanding because of the cultural differences? he's such a slow learner. how slow is he? once, he grilled a chicken breast for me.
all you have to do is grill it, right? - yes. / - it took him an hour and a half. - doesn't it burn? / - didn't the meat burn? he took out the chicken breast and thought about which way it should be cut. he cut it in half and sprinkled some pepper on it. then he added more. - that's how he spent an hour and a half. / - gosh. - that's a bit much. / - it's a serious problem. when we go out, i start getting ready first.
when i'm done, he goes, "shall i get changed?" "have you seen my wallet?" he takes up to an hour. i'm a fast walker, so when we walk together, i almost have to drag him along. i'm always the one who opens the door wherever we go - because i arrive first. / - that must be the case. (that's too much.) why did you take so long to grill the chicken breast? i wanted to make sure that it tastes really good.
that's the main reason. also, i rarely cook - so i had to keep looking up the recipe. / - right. i followed the recipe slowly and kept checking it. i actually have a question for his wife. many women get mad at their husbands who never help. - he's slow but he's trying to help out. / - he tries. - exactly. / - isn't it so sweet? - he's trying his best. / - he's so cute. - i agree. / - does he make many mistakes?
- he makes so many mistakes. / - give us examples. when he carries bowls filled with soup to the table, i guess he gets the urge to do something funny. he starts dancing with the bowls in his hands. (dancing with the bowls) - then he spills the soup. / - that's so cute. - it's adorable. / - he spills it, so it's a problem. does he take an hour and a half to clean it up? - he even dances for you. / - he says he cleaned it
- but it doesn't even look clean. / - oh, really? what else? has he made other mistakes? he washed a brand-new pair of jeans with white clothes. - he did? / - yes, just after we got married. he doesn't even know what's wrong with it. she sounds like his mom. do you realize that you make many mistakes? i'm a human too. everyone makes mistakes. i make mistakes like that from time to time
in the process of trying to do nice things for her. if i spill food on my clothes when we eat together, - or if i spill coffee... / - on the floor, right? we could be having a great time, but she turns cold when i make mistakes like that. my wife gets all mad at me and gives me scary looks, - so i don't want to make such mistakes. / - what else? my gosh... one day... - he just sounded so korean. / - i got goosebumps.
- once, her glasses were on the floor. / - her glasses. i ended up stepping on it by mistake, - oh, no. / - and the temples broke. i was so flustered because i didn't know what to do. i just took them to a shop without telling my wife. i asked to fix them quickly. that's funny. one day, when i sat down on the toilet, - it broke. / - you broke the toilet?
- yes. / - why? did you jump on it? i slipped when i sat down. that's why... - shouldn't you tell her? / - i grabbed the toilet - and bought the same toilet. / - quickly i bought the exact same toilet. - out of fear that she'd scold you. / - out of fear. - seriously... / - he's like a kid.
he's so adorable. if a toilet broke, we would be like this. "gosh, the toilet broke. what should we do?" however, he went to get it. (he's totally nervous.) - he ran to the market. / - he's scared of his wife. (this is the troublemaker's change in his face.) i feel bad for him. he's an adult who's almost 30 years old,
yet he makes mistakes a little kid would do. this is how he broke the toilet. he didn't just sit. he was dancing, then he sank down from the side. he broke it from dancing? - he danced samba. / - he danced samba. - why did you do that? / - you said you hated samba. - i was... / - why would you dance when you poop? - you can't break it by sitting. / - you should've sit. (samba is so exciting.)
what kind of husband do you want him to be? i want him to manage his stuff well. - self-management. / - as a result, i want him to be skilled at everything. is anyone around you skilled at everything? my brother-in-law. (her brother-in-law is skilled at everything.) (come on.) why are you skilled at everything?
i am? - she sees me that way. / - seeing them from the side, who do you think should be more worried? i think the cultural difference is too big - for them. / - i think so too. do you think he's so slow that you can't stand it? no, it's not that bad. is your sister-in-law a bit impatient or is your wife like that too? how is she?
i'm the impatient one. - you cook. / - yes, that's why i clean the house before my wife does. have you ever cooked for your wife? recently, i cook dinner most of the time. (he's in charge of making dinner.) (i envy my sister.) how much time does it take to make dinner? about 30 minutes.
(he can make a meal in 30 minutes.) even though you're impatient, he's saying that your husband isn't too bad. why do you make so much fuss about it? when you live with someone, - you feel things that others can't. / - that's true. - also, / - you must live with the person. even though it's inconvenient, i can understand, as he's my family.
i can understand because i love him. however, i'm worried he'll experience disadvantage from others later on. that's why i'm quite impatient. what do you mean by disadvantage? even when the customer service was horrible, my husband always smiles and says, "thank you!" i'm afraid people will look down on him. i'm afraid people will consider
- that he's easy to deal with. / - you'll be worried. it's a situation where you can complain, yet he doesn't do that and smile instead. can't you express your anger at others? i don't get angry. when i worked in an office in brazil, my manager asked me if i never get upset with anything. i do want to get angry
but i don't. i can't express my anger, either. - it's that bad. / - sometimes, i... (he never gets upset with anybody.) i'm fine. (i'm fine.) "i'm fine." (i'm patient.) is there anything else your wife tells you to change?
- yes. / - what is it? - my body. / - change your body? how can you change your body? i weigh 170kg. - 170kg? / - 170kg. (weighing 170kg is common in brazil?) - that's your height? / - i'm 170cm tall. i used to weigh 90kg. - that was your weight. / - i used to be super fat.
(he used to be really heavy.) - he lost a lot of weight. / - i used to be fat. at that time, my wife - nagged me to work out, / - "exercise now!" so i exercised a lot and lost 20kg. (he lost 20kg.) - she did a good job. / - she did really well. show us how much effort he put.
(the husband's miracle will be revealed.) he became so much more handsome. - who is that? / - my goodness. - who is he? / - how can he be so different? (this picture will inspire you to go on a diet.) - isn't he a different man? / - he's a different man. who is that? - is that really bernardo? / - it's so... he used to look like mario.
- he's like super mario. / - super mario. i would've never figured out that he's the same guy. (i look like super mario?) he's become a different person. - he looks super friendly. / - he looks kind. he looks totally different. i have a question. - in fact... / - 20kg makes this much difference? he's changed this much from that, including his body.
- why didn't you praise him? / - he put so much effort. my wife loves guys with nice figures. - built guys. / - built guys. "look how hot he is." - who is she referring to? / - who? - for example, upon seeing gong yoo... / - gong yoo. (she compares him with gong yoo.) - he's gong yoo. / - he worked out for 20 years. (they say you should dream big.)
- that's gong yoo. / - gong yoo is a goblin, not a human. while looking at gong yoo, she takes me for a squid. (he pretends to be a squid with ten legs.) - a squid. / - she takes you for a squid. if you keep doing that, people will misunderstand. - what, then? / - hence... when you lost 20kg,
was your wife moved? did she praise you? - no, she didn't say, / - that was nothing for her. "well done" or "great job". - she thought it's what you must do. / - my wife thought it's something i must do. - that wouldn't encourage you. / - you lost weight, - yet she told you to become gong yoo. / - seriously... didn't it make you upset? she should've praised you. - no, it didn't. / - come on, it made you upset.
- you mentioned it, as you were mad. / - you were mad. - come on. / - i'm serious. - come on. / - i want to be angry, but... - he's such a nice guy. / - he's an angel. what a nice guy. even if you don't get upset, you'd be displeased. you can complain about that in a nice way, right? do you not even do that? no, i can't do that.
do you really want him to become like gong yoo? - his body? / - i don't wish him to be like gong yoo. when we started dating, i didn't care about his looks. i loved his personality and i loved how positive he was. as our relationship became more serious... did his looks start to matter to you? since i wanted us to last for a long time,
i started wanting him not to stand out even if we go to korea. how much more weight do you want him to lose? it'd be nice to lose 10kg from now and to build muscles. - lose 10kg and build muscles? / - it's impossible. - yes. / - do you take him for a cyborg or what? losing two or three kg is already difficult. it seems she wants him to be perfect.
i once lost my weight down to 59kg. i fainted about twice and it was the toughest time of my life. - it's that hard to lose weight. / - it's really tough. - he put a tremendous amount of effort. / - exactly. he did it for love. is there anything you did for your husband? what did you cater to him? i don't think there's anything. my husband
wants nothing from me. - don't you want anything from her? / - there's none? - say anything. / - say it now. - what do you want her to cater to you? / - exactly. - say it now. / - isn't there anything you want her to cater to you? when i am tired sometimes, i want to play games on my phone, take a nap or watch television but she tells me
to get up and do stuff. she doesn't like guys who rest and do nothing. i want him to enjoy productive activities - if he could. / - if he could, that would be better. - yes. / - what do you mean by productive activities? - what would that be? / - my husband likes soccer. as there's also a team he roots for with passion, it'd be nice to play soccer outside and meet people. - he can work out meanwhile... / - no,
if he has to rest the way you want him, - that means he has no freedom. / - that's not a rest. having to play soccer against his will is like a sentence of death. he'd meet people and be productive. however, he would need to do that once a week or twice a month, within a fixed time frame. if he uses the time wisely... even now, when you speak,
- you enforce your own standard. / - exactly. you're making your husband fit in your standard. it may be my standard but i think that koreans have expectations for foreigners who speak korean well. if foreigners speak good korean, they forget how they're foreigners and hope they'd understand korean culture.
(koreans hope them to accept all korean culture.) what she's saying is true. when i first came to korea, my korean wasn't good. back then, koreans cut me - some slack. / - "he doesn't know very well." gradually, they treated me more like a korean. since then, if you can't fit in korean culture, you can be a victim of fraud or have a bad experience. that's why his wife is worried.
for the time he spent in korea, his korean is great. however, his behaviors or his habits fall short of korean standard. he sounded as though he was happier back when he used to live in brazil, for nobody scolded him for not cleaning. - he was free. / - he was relaxed. honestly, do you want to go back to brazil? - no. / - why not?
when we lived in brazil, my wife had a hard time getting used to the environment there. for the two years we spent there, i kept thinking that she'd be happier and more comfortable in korea. - he considers his wife first. / - he's so sweet. that's why we decided to live in korea. (he decided to go to korea for his wife.) - how can i find a guy like him? / - he's an angel. - he's sacrificing himself for your happiness. / - yes.
- can't you wait for him a bit? / - just a little bit. i always asked if he'd change once i wait. however, after waiting for two years, - he didn't change at all. / - he lost 20kg, though. - it was before? / - he lost his weight when we dated. after we got married, he kept gaining weight. (do you really want him to be as slim as gong yoo?) you lived in brazil for two years.
did you adjust yourself to brazilian culture soon? no, it was also difficult to overcome the cultural gap. - it's the same for your husband. / - she's quick, so getting used to something slowly would be hard. that's right. she'd be totally frustrated. what was difficult to adapt yourself? if we planned to meet at 7 p.m., people start leaving at 7 p.m. they'd arrive at 8 to 8:30 p.m., even 9 p.m. - that's insane. / - some just don't show up at all.
without informing you? - they don't even get upset. / - they understand. i'd get upset, asking why they're not coming, and they'll say, "what's wrong? just enjoy the party." "they'll come later on." anything else you're frustrated with due to being slow? when i go to supermarkets, as koreans are skilled, even before the receipt is out, the cashier would wait and when the receipt is out, she'd give it to me.
however, in brazil, a cashier would chat with others - after scanning the barcode. / - really? that will be so upsetting. i'd be frustrated, fidgeting like this. then, she'd scan another item and continue to chat. - unbelievable. / - it took forever to pay. back then, did your husband tell you to adjust yourself to brazilian culture soon? my in-laws and my husband helped me a lot
to get used to the culture there. they've never rushed me or nagged me for not adjusting myself well. - then, why do you do that? / - no one does such stuff there. nobody says anything for no-show. nobody reproves you for not adjusting yourself well. - they're always slow. / - it's their culture. did you first kiss each other soon or not? - i'm curious about that. / - "why doesn't he kiss me?"
- i'm curious. / - "kiss me quickly! right now!" "kiss me right here right now!" (was their kiss as swift as that?) - that's scary. / - how was it? did you kiss each other soon or was that also slow? when it comes to that, we are quicker than koreans. when it comes to kissing... (he kissed her very soon.) you're cool.
(brazil isn't only good at soccer.) - what was the toughest part of korea? / - exactly. - you would've missed your parents. / - my parents aren't here. when i was in brazil, for over ten years, i gathered with my friends, played poker and drank. - you hung out. / - however, my wife didn't like that, so i stopped. in fact, he stopped everything his wife told him to. aren't you working right now, then?
he's preparing to work while attending language school. - i'm preparing to get a job. / - what about expenses? - he saved up in brazil. / - i saved money in brazil. - i saved the money there. / - what about your wife? she's working. - then... / - that's why i wanted to do well at home. i cleaned up my puppy's dung and threw away garbage. he talks often about his puppy. is there a job that your wife wants you to have?
my wife likes jobs that are recognized. - recognized by whom? / - give me an example. a corporate? for example, a global corporation would be one. she wants me to work at a company everyone knows. it has to be a job people recognize. - even the job is decided for him. / - what about you? what do you really want to do? i like creative work
- like advertising and marketing. / - you like that. i want such job. is what he's saying true? i don't want him to work for a corporate. since my husband is a foreigner, i thought it'd be hard for him to adjust to the working culture here. that's why i said that but i think he got me wrong. in order to do that, your husband needs to adjust himself to korean culture soon.
that's why he's preparing to find a job now. - however, if you rush him... / - you're grilling him. not all who hire foreigners require fluent korean. - that's right. / - my husband can communicate well enough in korean and he's studying hard. thus, once he starts interacting with others at work, he will be able to productively improve his korean, - so i want him to go out. / - you want him to face it. actually,
- he's so sweet. / - he's so sweet. he's so sweet who does everything for his wife. you listened to his side of the story today. i wonder how that made you feel. i've never considered my husband deeply enough. hearing my husband's perspective through the third person makes me feel that i spared with praising. i think that i might have pressed him way too much. is there any praise you want your wife to tell you?
- there is. / - what is it? if i work hard for something, i wish my wife - will praise me, "well done." / - "good job." - "good job." / - just that one expression. - that means a lot. / - that would make me feel better. my wife sometimes tell me that i'm cute. i like being called cute but i actually want her to tell me that i'm cool, as i want to be a cool guy for her.
- that was cool. / - you want to be manly. (you're unbelievable.) say what you find cool about him. honey, i didn't say it out loud but i always think that you're handsome and cool. you should say those out loud. you were really cool to not have given up on your diet. the way he expresses his love for you in front of - 200 people itself is cool. / - he's really nice.
also, the fact that he moved to korea for you - is so cool. / - it's very cool of him. you actually know that he's cool. the problem is that you didn't express that. you never expressed your gratitude or praised him. without expressing any of that, you made him work. - "do it now! why don't you do it?" / - exactly. if you praise and encourage him, he'll change sooner than you expect.
when you first met him, you loved him the way he was. now, after living with him, you were upset when he didn't live up to your standard. love your husband the way he is. "you're cool. you did well." he really does well. if i had such husband, i'd make money and have him stay home while considering that he's a palm tree. it's because he's like a palm tree that offers a shade. i really feel this is life.
is there anything you'd like to say to your wife? honey, i'll put effort - and make no mistake. / - how nice. it'd be nice to live together until the last day. honey, i love you. (honey, i love you.) - he's so adorable. / - how could there be such man? - although she nags... / - he can't live without her. - look at him. / - all koreans would marry brazilians,
- thinking everyone's like this. / - where can i - find such guy? i envy you. / - brazil. kangnam, is this a worry or not? i don't think it's a worry. i really think he's a cool guy. his ideas about love are amazing. - he's cool. / - i also don't think it's a worry. his wife found a good thing. did you say that she found a good thing?
- where can i find such guy? / - it's because she's - from china. / - they came this far, as they mix well. - i wish you happiness. / - i think - it's a worry. / - it's a worry. - it's a worry. / - yes, i thought it's a worry. if you're displeased with something, say it. if you two communicate with each other, you'll get along even better later on. - tolerating alone isn't right. / - i agree.
(bernardo, don't tolerate too much.) if you empathize with him, press the button. (what does the audience think?) - in five, four, / - in five, four, - three, two, one. / - three, two, one. - stop. / - time's up. ma'am, say a few words to your husband, as you would've learned a lot today. please put a bit more effort from now on.
- just a bit. / - she's a typical korean. - we told her so much, but... / - she learned - nothing today. / - i won't spare with praising. - thank you for loving me always. i love you. / - okay. - all right. / - that's right. see how happy he is. tell him you love him again. he's so happy. tell him once again more passionately. (are you that happy?) show us how many votes this story got.
(the result) did it get over 100 votes? it did get over 100 votes. - honey. / - 100... - 124 votes? / - 114 votes. - 124 votes. / - my goodness! he got many votes. (their story earned 124 votes.) this story's title is in english, "no, no, never!"
it means "no, no, never" in korean. hello, it's been seven years since i came to korea. i'm alex from the us. i'm a man but people think i'm a girl. - i'm a man, though. / - they mistake him for a woman. it was when i was in high school. "i want to play american football too." "play it with me, my friend."
"no, go away. you're like a woman." "this is men's sport." that's right. i've never played a men's sport. when i looked for jobs, my interviewer said, "alex, are you really a man?" "you're too girly." he sounds like a man from jeolla province. - i thought so, too. / - a man from jeolla province. "we need a manly guy."
after hearing that, i failed. my female friend once asked me, "do you like men?" that female friend of mine thought i was a gay for six months. i'm just a little tidy with a fair skin with a bit of makeup. - with a bit of makeup. / - makeup.
perhaps it's his hobby. - however, i'm not a girl. / - that may be the problem. i'm a man. can't you just accept the way i am? that's what he wrote. (please accept me the way i am.) robin, what did you think after hearing the story? you have very deep eyes. he looks pretty.
he must hear often that he's pretty than handsome. did people misunderstand you like this story? i really empathize with the person who sent the story. especially when i was in france, i used to be very thin. i was about 10kg thinner then. - really? / - you were thinner. - you were really thin. / - i weighed about 50kg. at the time, men misunderstood me.
they suspected that i was gay. didn't hong sukchun distress you when you came here? he distressed me a lot in fact. - did he? / - he did. - sukchun is... / - he's dangerous. he's dangerous. (hong sukchun warning is issued.) - he seriously means it. / - yes. - sukchun is a dangerous man. / - he is.
- he's dangerous. / - yes. did you hate it that people misunderstood you? - i didn't like it. / - is that why you gained weight? yes. i worked out a lot and went to the gym. and i gained a lot of weight. because of his fair skin, people misunderstand him. - let's meet alex. / - i'm curious about him. please come out on stage. (who is this man getting bullied for being feminine?)
he is an ordinary man. (alex) - hello. / - is it because of the makeup? - i can see him now. / - is it because of the makeup? welcome, alex. you can sit comfortably. (he kicks yeongja.) (it hurts.) he can't sit on the floor in a cross-legged position.
- can't he? / - no. no. - i can't do it but i practiced it. / - did you? - you can sit however you want. / - don't do it. (he looks very uncomfortable.) - that's what he can do. / - this is how good i get. it makes us feel uncomfortable. - is it more comfortable to sit like this? / - is it? when i go to a restaurant with floor seating, it's easier for me to sit like this.
but many people make fun of it. we won't make fun of it. - it's okay. / - all right. - just sit comfortably. / - i'll sit like that too. - i will sit like that too. / - let me try it too. (everyone sits modestly.) it's very uncomfortable. sit in the position you find the most comfortable. - please bring me a chair. / - whoever sits
beside me experiences discomfort, - alex. / - i don't think - he is feminine. / - he doesn't look feminine. but his eyes are... - his eyelashes are very long. / - they are so long. his eyelashes are full like sunflower petals. - they are. / - really. they are like wings. when people see my face or my actions, many of them say that i'm feminine.
- i'm not sure i see it. / - really? - i really don't get it. / - i know. - i don't get it. what's feminine about him? / - i... what makes your friends think that you are feminine? i apply foundation on my face - and i am wearing an earring. / - you wear an earring. - also, i pluck my... / - you pluck your eyebrows. - i pluck my eyebrows. / - for what? - you clean your eyebrows. / - right.
they are very neat. i've been plucking my eyebrows since college, and it became a habit of mine. - that's why i keep doing it. / - it's like this. in the us, male actors have full beard and they're very rough. so when men are too well-groomed, - people misunderstand them. / - people misunderstand. - yes. especially when you wear makeup. / - i see.
if a man wears makeup, he is immediately mistaken. a man with makeup is seen as a gay person. - is it like that even in france? / - even in france. i shave my chest hair and... what is this hair called? - armpit hair. / - armpit hair. - but you have hair on your arm. / - i... - i shaved it only once. / - that's masculine.
- he's hairy. / - his arm is hairy. i bet mosquitoes get trapped in your hair. - aren't i right? / - i tried shaving it. but it made me look too feminine. so i stopped shaving my arms and legs. - when i go to sauna, / - sauna. a lot of people stare at me. - why? / - so i get embarrassed. - because he doesn't have armpit hair. / - i...
- shaved my important part too. / - did you shave it? (wait, what did i just say?) - let's listen to him first. / - yes. which parts did you shave? please tell us. - she's strange. / - why do people stare at you? - did you shave the important part too? / - yes, i did. that would look strange. only his arms and legs would be hairy then.
that's like wearing boots when you're naked. - you should shave everything. / - i know. - that's strange. / - only his arms and legs are hairy. that would be strange. why did you shave them? having hair felt dirty and i wanted to be clean. i like being clean. - people think you are feminine. / - yes.
how did that perception negatively affect your life? i think it began in high school. i tried playing football. i entered the football team but i never got to play a game. it was because i was weak then and i was bullied a lot. - alex... / - how did they bully you? they said, "you play ball like a girl."
- i heard that a lot. / - "you play ball like a girl." yes. so i was daunted by it. did they not let you in because you were bad? or did you run like... - in the us... / - did you run like this perhaps? - no. / - maybe he carried the ball like this. that wasn't it. i needed a big muscular body. - but i didn't have one. / - is that the reason?
- he must've been thin. / - yes. i was small. i came to korea as soon as i graduated from college. and i got several job interviews. but some of the employers told me, "alex, we need a masculine leader." - then i got rejected. / - you got rejected. - you came here with your colleagues. / - yes. where are your friends? they are over there.
- hello. / - hello. we don't understand how this is a concern. do you understand his concern? i grew up abroad and i also got mistaken by my american friends for applying foundation on my face. - i see. / - in the us, men just wash their face and that's it. when i first met alex, i thought he was gay
because he was wearing makeup. is there something other than the makeup issue? we usually talk in english. and he sometimes talks like a girl. - how does he talk like a girl? / - so i... - no. / - oh, my gosh. he says, "oh, my gosh." - oh, my gosh. / - that one. - perhaps he sounds more feminine in english. / - yes.
does he say "oh, my gosh" like this? how does he say it? benji and alex can talk in english. you can talk about what's nice about korea. you can talk naturally in english. - let's say we're friends. / - act like close friends. - what's up, man? / - hey, baby. how are you doing? (he said, "hey, baby.") it's been a while.
- baby? / - baby? - we understand you. / - what did you do yesterday? i drank makgeolli. - makgeolli time? were you turnt up? / - so good. was i turnt up? no, man. it was just fun. - was it fun? / - it was fun. you should come. he's got the feminine side. - he's got it. / - he's got the feminine side.
- goodness. / - he's got a little bit of femininity. we see why people would misunderstand him. he talks like this. (do not misunderstand her. she's not picking a fight.) - he does this. / - he does. - he does that. / - you saw him, right? it seems like robin has something to tell us. - tell us. / - his eyes are flirty. it looks like he's trying to seduce a girl.
i will tell you precisely. i'll tell you. people lean forward when talking to other people. but a feminine man leans backwards... - leans backwards. / - and tucks in his chin a little and stares like this. - feminine men have that. / - i see. he's got that. his intonation is a little feminine. - he talks like a woman. / - yes.
do you agree that these are the problems? he has those feminine sides. when he's with me, he becomes loud and playful too. so people misunderstand not only him but also me. - they think we're a couple. / - you get mistaken. does he have a feminine taste too? he prefers male celebrities to female celebrities. he likes g-dragon. he likes romantic comedy movies.
how about when he eats? he eats like a lady too. he crosses his legs and drinks coffee. does he raise his pinkie? - yes, he does. / - like this. - like this? / - people find clues - from these details. / - yes. - do you count calories when you eat? / - yes. - right. i do. / - you count calories.
- usually girls do that. / - right. - this is... / - do you count calories? - of course i do. / - so... (taejoon looks innocent.) why do you count calories? are you trying to get in shape? what is it for? i do it to get in shape. i count calories so that my muscles are more beautiful. - no, it's just... / - that's it.
men usually want nicer muscles. but alex wants more beautiful muscles. i have a fat stomach. he acts cute like a girl too. he sends messages like "love you" and "nighty-night". - he talks like a baby. / - right. - yes. / - "nighty-night". do you talk cute in korean too?
of course. - he did a while ago. / - he did that again. cao lu, can you sing a cute song? - i can sing "cute". / - please sing it. (one plus one equals cute) (he acts cute.) (robin hates it.) (cao lu is embarrassed.) cao lu, you are bad.
alex is cuter than you. - i am too embarrassed to do it. / - i know. - 5 plus 5 equals cute / - 5 plus 5 equals cute (aren't i cute?) goodness. - what's six plus six equals? / - finish it. (he kisses his fingers.) - he's cute. / - i lose. i lose.
when you act cute like this, how do your friends react? they tell me to stop. they stop me. they said i will easily date a guy if i continue to do this. they told you that you can easily date a guy. - yes. / - i should learn his tricks. - cute / - in the us, it's hard to find a straight man who acts cute like him, right?
you get misunderstood immediately. - it's... / - what did you think of his performance? - i can't bear to watch him. / - really? - is it that bad? / - what did you think, robin? i cringed. i felt like beating him once. is that right? foreigners seem to have a harder time accepting it. - it's fascinating. / - i thought they'd be cooler. - i thought he was cute. / - yes.
you said you got mistaken as a gay guy growing up. - is that true? / - yes, i got mistaken many times. - even on the streets? / - yes. one time, i was at my parents' house. and my friends came over. my father came in and told my friends that i had never brought a girl home. then he asked my friends if i like men.
- your dad questioned you. / - they were close friends. - your dad asked that question. / - yes. i was really embarrassed when he asked my friends. any time before or after your arrival in korea, were you approached by homosexual men? many people asked me, "are you gay too, alex?" - they asked if you're one of them. / - yes. i've never said this to anyone yet. one time i was at a club in hongdae.
after partying with my friend, i was ready to go home. and one man followed me out. he grabbed me and pushed me to a wall in a small alley. - he pushed you. / - yes. he was also a foreigner. he was touching my body. - i was... yes. /- you must've been terrified. - it was humiliating. / - humiliating. is this your first time ever to talk about it?
- yes. even if i... / - i'm glad you came out here. you're on national tv, so you can say to everyone that you're not gay. - then people won't question you again. / - yes. you brought a female friend here too. - yes. / - let's meet your friend. are you certain that alex likes girls? - he really likes girls. / - does he? - he likes girls a lot. / - what's his type?
but girls don't find him attractive. - he's too feminine. / - he's too feminine. - he becomes friends with everyone. / - right. girls like men who can sometimes be very manly. but he's always too nice and gentle. that's why he fails to charm girls. girls don't see his charms as a man. - right. / - you said alex likes girls a lot.
how can you tell? does he stare at pretty girls? he wants to have a pretty korean girlfriend. so is it that you can't date a girl? i think that's what's happening right now. i've dated a lot of girls in the past though. but have you dated anyone for a long time? i've only dated girls on short terms. 1 to 2 months. why is that? because i'm not masculine, girls think
i can't protect them like a man. what was the longest relationship you've had? - i once dated a girl for two years. / - for two years. - that was only one time. / - i see. she was korean. she said she dated me because she likes a feminine man. she dated you because she's your type. - she liked pretty men. / - when you date a woman,
do you ask for her permission when you kiss her? i... how do i say this in korean? let's say you are dating a girl. and you want to kiss the girl. are we dating? let's say we are dating. - don't be too shocked. / - is he shocked? - it's just... / - "are we dating?" do you ask your girlfriend if you can kiss her?
- no. / - then what do you do? show us what you would do. - now? / - do you surprise her? act it. let's go. just show us briefly. (he's nervous.) look at him. (kiss me like a man!) stop it.
- she had a crush on him. / - goodness. - i almost got a boyfriend. / - he's surprised. she's actually offended. when you were in a relationship, which of your behaviors did your girlfriend find feminine? what did they find feminine? - i cry quite often. / - you... - you cry a lot. / - i cry a lot. - when my girlfriend cries... / - you cry too.
- yes. when my lover is sad, / - really? - i am sad too. / - he's very sympathetic. but my ex-girlfriend told me to stop crying. - it's because... / - she told you to stop crying. - he must've cried too much. / - my ex-girlfriend... - "why are you crying?" / - he must've cried a lot. she told me to stop and said, "boys don't cry." - men don't cry. / - yes. then did you try to change
and be more masculine? i am working out a lot. i go to the gym. - you go to the gym. / - i go to the gym. i played football again in korea. i told myself that i could do it. and i gave it a try. it was all right. i try to drink more because men drink a lot. you intentionally drink more to appear manly. - right. / - you tried hard.
did you see any changes after all those efforts? i've seen some changes. i become more feminine when i am drunk. - you become more yourself. / - it backfired. when he's excited, his actions become bigger. when i get drunk with my friends, i touch them. (he touches another man without hesitation.) (kangnam is flustered.)
stop touching guys. just quit working out. - that's it. / - yes. - what's wrong? / - that's it. alex, you surprised me. people have been pointing it out for many years, so he must be traumatized about being feminine and acting like a girl. what do you think of yourself, alex? i think i am just alex.
i have both masculine and feminine side in me. i think i am a unique person with a mix of two sides. i think it's boring if men are all masculine. men are feminine too to a certain extent. they should be. - i am a positive person. / - you are positive. can you tell us what you like about alex? - tell us. / - what do you want to tell him?
when life gets hard, he goes on a trip alone. he spends time alone to recharge. and he tries very hard to achieve his goal. i think, as a person, he has many admirable qualities. how about the other friend? alex is very humble and clever. i hope he will continue doing what he does and live as who he is, as alex.
he's got good qualifications in the us. he's an elite. but he gave all that up to come to korea and to take on a big challenge. he made a bold decision to move here. he's my friend and i think he's really great. i hope his worry will be resolved, so that he will fall in love with a lovely girl. alex, this will be aired nationwide.
you may say anything you want. i think it's time we put an end to problems with stereotyping people. when i was younger, i wanted to do acrobatics. but i didn't pursue it. - why? / - because people think it's girls' sports. but i recently started doing it. - i want to live without regrets. / - yes. honestly, i don't want to change.
i don't want to hear people telling me to change. - you want to live your life. / - yes. all right. now, please get ready to vote. cao lu? everyone has his unique style. you shouldn't worry too much about what people think. - i support you. / - kangnam. i also think it's not a worry. i have a male friend
who is very feminine. but he dates so many girls. he acts like a girl but he dates a lot of girls. so if you are more like yourself, you will be able to enjoy life more. - you think it's a worry. / - it's not a worry. your femininity might help you in meeting women. it might help you approach women better. you can understand their feelings better.
right. you can be manly at an important moment. - you can act all macho. / - and surprise her. - you have strengths. / - you do. - you can do it. / - he's right. we laughed and enjoyed his story but vote for him if you identify with his pain. - stop. / - time is up. let's see how many votes he got. - how many voted for him? / - the last digit is seven.
maybe it's 77. - it's 67. / - people think it's not a worry. that means you shouldn't worry about it. - it means you are great as you are. / - right. - you are a great man. right? / - he's cute. - thank you. / - let's give him a round of applause. (we will cheer for you, alex!) this one is titled "why are you doing this to me?". hello, i am gumbir. i am from nepal
and i have been living in korea for 15 years. i want to report my evil boss. my boss always checks my phone history. whenever i get a text message, she checks it first. - what's wrong with her? / - no way. she checks my social media and email too. - why? / - he should sue her. she even checks my bank accounts. - what? / - what is wrong with her?
he should hire a lawyer. my boss is my wife. - that's why. / - that's why he didn't sue her. whenever i go to work, my wife watches me from home via the security camera. - is it that bad? / - the security camera? - yes. / - does she love him that much? she phones me and says, "were you flirting"
"with a female customer?" "you weren't in your seat from 10:10 to 10:30." "where did you go to do what with whom? tell me!" (tell me!) i am so stressed. even my friends don't like my wife. (my friends don't like my wife.) - they feel guilty too. / - because whenever i'm at a bar with my friends,
- she appears like the grim reaper. / - grim reaper? i feel imprisoned and forced to work and it's almost suffocating. help me. i really need saving. (please save me.) kangnam, you've lived in korea for a while now. - quite a while. / - have you dated a korean woman? - many times, yes. / - "many times"? - many times? / - yes.
i was a bit like this. - you were? / - i was... - obsessive? / - totally obsessive. i checked my girlfriends' phones. in case they cheated on me. (to prevent cheating) why would they cheat? are you that insecure? yes. (kangnam is insecure but strong.)
- there is a reason we don't know. / - possibly. a reason we don't know. you lack confidence. - it's not that kind of confidence. / - okay. good luck. dongyeop... it's not that and i'm blushing now. (we're rooting for you.) - weren't you popular in korea, robin? / - right.
- you look like a movie star. / - i was popular. was one of them an idol singer? (was one of them an idol singer?) (flummoxed, gasping) - what? / - did you hear that? robin and a singer? - i guess... / - this is a scary program. sit back down. - i just love that they're so honest. / - me too.
he said idol singer and he asked how he knew. (he took the bait.) a korean would never fall for it. this man's stressed that he's always being watched. come on out. (who's stressed of being watched by his wife?) (gumbir) - i thought he was park chanho. / - hello. (he looks like park chanho.)
- a nepali park chanho. / - hello. - welcome. / - hello. - oh, dear. / - he's handsome. he said, "oh dear." he's practically korean now. "oh, dear." please introduce yourself. hello, i'm from nepal. - i've been here... / - he's so fluent. - for 15 years. / - 15 years?
- i got married here six years ago. / - okay. we explained your situation a bit. how bad is it? my wife checks my social media, phone, messaging applications, everything. even my bank statements. not only that, she watches the security camera footage. (he's under surveillance.) she monitors where i go 24 hours a day.
my business is open until early morning, so a lot of friends call at closing time. when they call, my wife answers instead and says, "don't call a married man at this time." then she hangs up. - really? / - lack of trust? why go that far? does your wife stare at the monitor all the time?
- like this? / - right. - did you cheat on her? / - i did not. when i was a student, i led a group of foreigners who loved korean. - foreigners who love korean? / - yes. i have many foreign friends. because i own a business, i need to maintain a network of customers. instead of just sending off the customers,
i follow them to wherever they go next. as soon as i leave, she calls and says, "where are you going? who are you with?" - my wife calls. / - so you go out. living in korea alone is stressful because i must network with people. - "network"? / - "network with people"? - it's true. / - he's right. - networking is tough. / - it is.
- it can be. / - doesn't your wife work with you? - right. / - you own your business. she's a housewife. is she always at home? she's my boss who puts me to work. (she's the real-life vicious boss.) let's meet the wife. hello. - hello. / - dongyeop.
(embarrassed) when you said "hello", i got really scared. i can barely speak myself. (the wife who observes) (she's cuter than i thought.) when you found out your husband had written in, did you think it was understandable or were you surprised?
i don't understand. isn't this natural? why did he get married and not stay single? no one monitors their spouse. do you think it's natural because other wives do this? i think a married couple should have no secrets. i open up about everything i do. did he do something to make you suspicious? - yes, two years ago. / - okay.
he came home in the morning around 6 a.m. what time should he have come home? he closes at 2 a.m. should he be home by 3 a.m., then? yes, that's right. - yes, yes. / - right? - she's angry. / - exactly. i asked who he'd been with and he said a guy friend.
i didn't believe him. women have a sixth sense. i had to go to his shop the next day anyway, so i checked the security camera footage. - that's scary. / - he'd been with a woman, just the two of them. (with a woman until 6 a.m.?) of course i wasn't pleased. - he lied. / - he lied on top of that. - you're guilty. / - i linked the security camera
to my cell phone that day. i didn't watch him before then. i can explain what happened. - she's my closest female friend. / - a friend. i had set her up on a blind date. a blind date? the couple dated for a while after that but they'd come by because they'd hit a rough patch. they got into a fight and the guy had left
leaving my friend alone at the restaurant. i sat down with her to talk because she was alone and i lost track of time. my wife only rewound the video five minutes. she didn't see what had happened before. - the fight? / - she'd have seen it. - she'd have seen the guy walk out. / - yes. - why did you lie? / - you lied. if, when my wife called me,
i said i was drinking with a female friend, - she would imagine things. / - she would. i was afraid she'd come over. - you told a white lie. / - yes. this goes back to when we were dating. i'd told her i was playing billiards with so-and-so and she came to the billiard hall. maybe she wanted to play. - that's possible. / - that could be possible.
- she caused a lot of trouble and left. / - why? i'd told her not to come because of who i was with. she kept calling me still, so i'd ignored my phone and she'd come over. - my friend felt... / - scared? - they felt scared. / - and uncomfortable. and uncomfortable. we fought and didn't see each other for a month. she's too suspicious.
why was playing billiards a problem? - you were just dating. / - he didn't answer his phone. you got suspicious. - yes. / - do you get angry if he doesn't? yes, i'd like him to answer his phone. when a man focuses on a game, he forgets he has a phone. - that's right. / - it can't be helped. men get engrossed in the game, okay?
no. (nice one, kangnam.) sometimes you go to the restroom during a game. - the game... / - we don't go. we don't take breaks. we must win the game. we don't to go pee. it's upsetting if we can't reach our boyfriends. he said he was playing billiards. he told her where he'd be.
he should've called her after the game ended. she came over before it ended. (why are you fighting?) from what i've heard, i think the husband likes to have fun with friends. - so... / - he has many friends. i'd like to ask if anything else happened. - was there an incident? / - he loves to drink. he drinks almost every single day.
- something can happen when you're drunk. / - yes. i want to prevent that from happening, so i call him a bit more often. gumbir, do you drink every day? - i do like to drink. / - i see. i started drinking alcohol when i was five. - what? / - what? - wait, when you were five? / - five years old? - at five, not fifteen? / - when you were five?
that's baby food age. when young children bother their working parents, they're given a drop of 140-proof alcohol to go to sleep. - 140-proof? / - yes. i can drink four bottles of soju and 10,000cc of beer and be perfectly fine. - 4 bottles of soju... / - 10,000cc? - of beer? / - 10,000cc?
- that's nothing. / - can you drink that much? that's impressive. my wife has seen me drink. - she knows i never end up like this. / - even then. so he never caused trouble or got drunk and blacked out. he's never gotten himself in trouble because of alcohol but you just want to be careful.
he fares better than the rest of us. - my husband loves to have fun. / - okay. he goes clubbing three times a week. - gosh. / - my gosh. - that often? / - he went five times at first. - what? / - five times a week. - after marriage? / - and when we dated. - that's strange. / - he was single. - what newlywed bride... / - even three's a lot.
- wouldn't mind that? / - that's true. - you have a point. / - i should be over there. how does he manage to go clubbing? - after work? / - yes. - how do you manage that? / - i feel for her. i don't go three times a week. i sometimes go on fridays and weekends. on fridays and weekends? - that's three days. / - that's three days.
- fridays and weekends. / - the peak days. i go because i opened a club in nepal after i left high school. - they start everything soon. / - you owned a club? yes, i opened a club. no wonder you're a regular. when i go clubbing, i took my wife with me before we got married. to show her how i have fun.
i like to play darts, pocket ball and drink and chat with friends. i understand because in other countries we don't go to clubs to flirt or pick up women. we just go because we like the music. - we must explain that korean clubs... / - right. people go to get drunk and dance with men or women. - what? / - to dance. - to dance, right? / - you mispronounced the word.
- yes, to dance. / - to dance. - couples... / - she talks like our parents do. (we're all getting old!) - can't you say "club" properly? / - how dare you! - we have a bias about clubs. / - just be careful. - we think... / - what? - it's "club". / - do you not go to meet people of the opposite sex? i never went to a club for that purpose.
- that's fine. / - i usually go clubbing with 10 or 12 people i know. - do you? / - there are many clubs in hongdae. i know all the owners and they're all my junior. they come to eat at my restaurant. the foreigners who eat at my place even wait for me. - to go. / - they want to go. until after closing hours? doesn't your wife join you? she did once because i didn't answer my phone.
- ta-da. / - yes. - surprise. / - surprise. i went over because i was so angry. i'd called him many times and he didn't pick up. i think i'd called about 20 times. then he suddenly picked up. - i could hear men and women... / - loud music as well. it was so noisy. - party people. / - turn it up!
(these two got excited.) he hung up and i called right back. he picked up again but said nothing. three times. that infuriated me more than him not answering. it was like he picked up but kept quiet to tease me. i got dressed, jumped into a taxi and searched hongdae. - did you? / - she went around. i finally got to talk to him and told him to wait and i showed up.
he was drinking with his friends and swaying to the music. did he say hello? no, he didn't. he shouted at me for coming over. - he asked if i was crazy. / - that's harsh. - it's embarrassing. / - we fought in the street and then he went home but i didn't want to go with him. - i was so angry. / - did you go back in?
- so i... / - did you grab the opportunity? - party people. / - i went to a cafe to calm down then went home. why didn't you speak after picking up? i was with friends with my phone in my pocket. it had turned on by mistake. - it answered itself. / - as you moved. - she thought i was keeping quiet. / - i see. if that happened three times...
from what we saw so far, i think he's a nice guy who's usually good to you and pretty obedient. he isn't. he's aloof. - his manner... / - is he? is he mean when you fight? yes. we tried for a baby and it didn't work out. he said it wasn't his fault. - that upset me. / - it's a sensitive topic. wasn't that a bit mean of you?
i think i said that by mistake. but because she watches and gets obsessed with me that causes me much more stress. - that's part of it. / - that contributes. - you got angry, too. / - that's the main issue. that's why i said she was responsible. - right now... / - yes? - your wife's older sister's here. / - yes. let's ask for her objective opinion.
you must have seen the two fight. yes, a lot. i think they're both just the same. i sometimes get so uneasy when i'm around them. - i fear it'll get physical. / - is it that bad? - is it that serious? / - do they curse? do they hurt each other's egos? - they both speak in this cruel manner. / - do they?
- give us an example. / - how do they curse? (i'm too classy to repeat that.) what do they usually fight about? - gumbir likes to eat a little at a time. / - does he? after he eats about half a bowl of rice, my sister forces him to pick up his spoon and finish the rest of the rice. she hates it when people leave food. she says things like, "you're always drinking alcohol,"
"so why can't you finish a bowl of rice?" then gumbir calls her a crazy dog and the fight goes on. i can imagine what that's like. we always learn curse words first. that's true. how did you learn korean curse words? since 1994, my family ran a korean restaurant and guest house in nepal.
- so... / - that's when you started. most of our customers were mountaineers. - right. / - to climb the mountains. they sat around in the guest house and said "he's brainy" and things like that. (here's the translation.) that made me think i was really smart. - what does that mean? / - when i first started korean classes, i'd call the teacher and say
"my brain hurts too much. i can't come to class." - you used the word right away. / - it happens. any normal married couple can get into fights but they don't call each other "crazy dog" - or crazy something. / - right. my wife tends to flip out really fast. - it's called having a temper. / - she has a temper. once she gets too angry, i want her to calm down
so i suggest we wait ten minutes. when i turn on the tv, she throws away the remote control. she wants to keep talking. - right away. / - she can't wait. sometimes, when i go to another room... - does she knock? / - she smashes the door. she smashes the door? she wants to talk it out.
- that's a bit... / - were you an mma fighter? do you have anger management issues? when i'm angry, i want to get it out of my system fast. gumbir once wanted to talk the next day so i waited. but then he keeps avoiding me. when i want to talk, he goes out. that ended up in us not talking for three weeks. during that time he had fun coming home late. aren't most men like that?
- wives... / - during a fight. to avoid causing more hurt. did you drag it on for three weeks to have fun? - on purpose? / - i did enjoy those three weeks. did you fight on purpose? - no, but... / - he delayed the reconciliation. what's the motorcycle fight about? i went to the local office to get some papers and i thought there was an issue with the system.
we were on a motorcycle and i told my wife korea's system needed fixing. right then, she hit me on the side of the helmet saying i was wrong. - with her left hand? / - when you're on the road it's incredibly dangerous to hit the driver. what a temper. did you hit him like this? while he was focused?
- with that cute face... / - 1,200cc? because she kept hitting me i nudged her like this. one of the lenses of her sunglasses popped out. - of the goggles? / - this is so interesting. the wife's sister's right. they're just the same. is it possible to hit someone like that? gumbir's friend is here with us. let's see what he says. hello. - is he the friend? / - hello.
do you get his concern? it's a concern. 100 percent. - is she obsessive? / - yes. does she call that often? incredibly often. she's too controlling. gumbir apologizes and disappears every ten minutes. he comes back much later. that ruins the mood. we, his friends, get stressed.
- so much more for him. / - exactly. i think she suspects that he goes out to flirt with women or something. at clubs gumbir just dances like any middle-aged man. - why call every 10 minutes? / - 10 or 20 minutes. - that's unusual. / - why? i don't understand. - i must've called for a reason. / - every ten minutes? (shaking his head) does something crop up?
you're here so you might as well tell the truth. - be really honest. / - can you not stand that he goes out to have fun? sometimes, yes. he says he doesn't want to go out but i think he loves it. so you call to ask when he'll come home, he'd say, "soon." but you call him again because you get angry again? well... that's true some of the time.
i call less nowadays. (please set me free.) shall we meet the other friends? - i am from russia. / - russia. i became friends with gumbir after becoming a regular. do you go clubbing with him? on fridays, i want to go out so i go to his place. - and wait? / - yes. as a foreign woman i'm scared to go out alone.
- right. / - but uncle gumbir's older. - he's trustworthy. / - and he knows a lot of people. it's nice to go out with him. have you ever seen his wife before? - of course we met at the restaurant. / - i see. although you're just friends with gumbir are you concerned about his wife when you go out? - his wife keeps calling and texting. / - that's why. we can't relax and have fun.
you feel bothered. this is a tough situation. i'm sure you all think the same. within the korean culture, a man going clubbing - with younger women seems a bit... / - strange. it can seem strange. we do understand how the wife would feel. - there are more men. / - okay. i'm sure there are.
if you go clubbing less, then maybe she'll spy on you less. - can you do that? / - if i drink and play less, i can't manage the financial stress. my wife always complains about making money. - you need to make more. / - i'm a businessman. there are times when i don't want to drink or go out. it's a capitalistic society. capitalism?
- i feel... / - capitalism? because i'm from nepal, a foreign country, i have to work much harder than others. only then can my business survive. how does your wife nag you about money? she says things like why did you bring back only this much instead of that much? as you know, the economy is slow. there are times when i lose money.
i work part-time if i have to so that i can give her the minimum we agreed upon as living expenses. - that's impressive. / - you're so responsible. did your wife never work? i worked until three years ago. the reason i stopped working was because we were trying for a baby. - a baby? / - we failed.
i wanted to manage my health better and i never was the type to spend a lot anyway. i showed gumbir how much i'd saved up over five years. he asked why it was so little. i think he's the one who cares more about money. this isn't fair. what about him made you want to marry him? he was a foreigner but he had many friends and was outgoing.
i liked that. you like that he's outgoing but you don't like him going clubbing? yes but i still let him go out. - so what? you come after him. / - right. that's not nice at all. you come after him and hit him on the way home. or you call him all the time. what about you?
as soon as i saw her on social media, i thought she was my type and we started dating. on our first date after i asked her out... we keep talking about clubs today but i love clubs. i went out then fell asleep and didn't answer my phone for eight hours. i'd asked her out and we'd agreed to meet at this time. she'd showed up on time
and waited at the cafe for eight hours. - for eight hours? / - out of anger. she wanted to kill you. she was biding her time. she waited for that long and we talked and i was moved by how considerate she was. she was willing to wait. now she waits every day. do you feel differently about her now?
no, i still have those feelings but i want her to watch and control me less and be less obsessive about what i do. - you want her to trust you. / - yes. i don't monitor him all the time. just occasionally. it's all the time. we all want to check on others. we just don't go there.
it's too stressful to share everything. respecting each other's personal space is a good way to create a healthy relationship. name one thing you want from her. then we'll wrap up. i want to show my wife's friends that we're doing well and she's doing well even though she married a foreigner. - that's nice. / - she lives here, we live there,
someone drives what car. i want the same for us. that's why i meet people. - you want her to see that. / - i would like that. - you want her acknowledgement. / - yes. the nepali say that once we cross the river together, we must keep on going together. i want to be with my wife forever. i want to say i love her. i love you.
(let's stay together forever!) that was sweet. what exactly do you want? i want him to think of me. we're both the youngest sibling and stubborn. i think he can be selfish sometimes. - you, too. / - i know. i'd like him to think of me a tiny bit more. when we talk to each other,
i hope he can be more careful and caring. then i can be less scathing. don't ask him to change first. change yourself first. you both need to change. to your husband, korea is an unfamiliar land and place. if he had no friends and focused only on you, how sad would that be? - but because he's so outgoing... / - that's true.
he's managing so well in a foreign land. you both need to be more caring. you need to give your husband a bit more freedom. you need to treat your wife more gently. you both need to change your ways. we all have different thoughts and ideas. do you think this is a concern? - let's vote. / - benji. if you keep going, things will only get worse.
if you both try to work things out, maybe you can go back to - being in love quickly and soon. / - okay. - robin? / - i said earlier that their stubbornness is causing a lot of problems. - i think it's a worry. / - okay. it's a worry. i think this is not a worry. we say that men are like babies.
i think that with time gumbir can become a good husband. he's still a baby right now. that's what i think. he needs a lot of love. - okay. / - you're his only family now. if you think this is a worry, press your buttons. - thank you. / - thank you. tell your husband what you want him to do for you. - call him something sweet like darling. / - honey.
- honey sounds nice. / - have you said that before? - no. / - really? say it. (so awkward) (she isn't used to it.) - she can't say it. / - why not? - go on. / - honey. - well done. / - "honey." honey.
we fight too much over trivial things. let's work on our tempers and be more considerate towards each other. i hope we can be happy and have a cute baby. (let's be happy and have a baby.) can you show us the result? the last digit comes first. ("why are you doing this to me?") it's a 4. did we go over 100?
"why are you doing this to me?" (will he win?) let's see. 94 votes. (94 votes) - we wish you happiness. / - thank you. "my scary wife" is this week's winner. congratulations. we wish you the best.
i thought i was doing well alone in korea. now i see that it's tough for everyone. - that's today's conclusion. / - it's tough. i wish all the foreigners happiness. have some tteokguk and be happy. (happy new year) until the day we are all worry-free, hello counselor will continue to counsel you. (hello counselor will always counsel you.)
- happy new year. / - thank you. ("april story" by april)